“Do you see now the herculean effort I have expended to not text you, to act in a reasonable non-threatening way? Will you not give me credit for fundamentally transforming myself into a slightly more respectable person? I am a shining radiant beacon of resilience like one of those holy men in India who keep their arms raised for twenty years, a heroin addict in the throes of withdrawal, or a civil rights protestor in the 60’s. I traverse a desert for days and days while holding a glass of water, and though I may die of thirst, I shall not drink.”- Brad Pike

 Hil-ar-i-ous. Read the whole article!